From: Joseph Byrnes
To: "'chrisjur@usacs.rutgers.edu'"
Cc: "'chrisjur@eden.rutgers.edu'"
Subject: MAtch of the Century!!!
Date: Sat, 17 Feb 1996 18:04:34 -0500

RING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen! In the left corner wearing red trunks and purple socks and green sneakers. He weighs in at 185 pounds. He is the former New Jersey State District 5 Wrestling Champ! He hails from USAcs.rutgers.edu an d eden.rutgers.edu and internexus.net and Aol.com oh hell he is all over the pla ce. He is known as Mr. HTML - The "C Man" Ladies and Gentle Chris Uriate.

HOWARD: Wow Chris looks in good shape.

ROB: Yeah Howie his shoulder looks better. But his opponent is primed.

RING ANNOUNCER: And his opponent. Wearing...well this wrestler is completely nu de. He weighs in at 6 oz. He hails from T.V. sets across the nation. He is known as "The gift to give at Christmas Time", "Water me or I die", and "What the hel l is this" the Chia Pet!

HOWARD: Looks like the match will be exciting. The Chia Pet seems pumped.

ROB: In addition to Howard and myself we also have Uriate's worst date here. We will keep her name quiet for now.

HOWARD: This is a new addition to our team. She will give the color comentary.

ROB: Right now the Ref is checking to see if the Chia Pet is carrying any foreig n objects.

HOWARD: Where would he hide it?

ROB: Now Chris is getting checked. Oh no...The ref has found brass knuckles.

HOWARD: Listen to the boos from the crowd.

ROB: WOW- the Ref has found weed killer, a book on HTML and a bat in Chris trunk s. Where did he hide them.

WORST DATE: Well he has room.

HOWARD: And there goes the first cheap shot of the evening.

ROB: And the match starts. Quick take down from Chris. He looks sharp! That 184 pound weight advantage doesn't seem to bother Chris. The crowd is clearly on the side of the Chia Pet. A reversal from the Chia! Chris is in trouble!! A Cradle. ..Oh Chris gets out.

HOWARD: Oh no Chris gave the Chia Pet a low blow. Listen to the boos.

ROB: They have stopped the match. The Chia Pet is in trouble.

HOWARD: They are watering the CHIA PET. Chris is looking worried. The Chia Pet i s beginning to grow. Yes folks it is growning leaves.

ROB: It must be up to almost 7 ounces by now. You can see the fear in Chris's ey es.

HOWARD: The CHIA is mopping the floor with chris. Oh No the CHIA gave Chris a l ow hoof to the groin. Chris is down. The Chia Climbs onto his chest. The Chia is flexing ontop of Chris. Chia sets him up for a slam.

ROB: WOW That was devistating. Chris is looking up at the lights. The Chia is o n his chest..here comes the count....THE CHIA PET WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!